Caught in Between Bars
stuck in a song
life without words
love without meaning
living a curse.

. . . *note above* mourning that my home is my own hell~

I feel like time is pulling me back
turning the clock against me
like every growing minute, the world struggles venomously against me.

I thought I got out of this cave.
I thought I pulled out of this trap.
out of this hole
out of this hate
out of this feeling-YEARS ago.

Now I'm back to the beginning.
Everything is new.
the cave, colder
the trap, different
the hole, deeper
the hate, more complex
I hate being in this "darkness"
What else would you call it?
It hovers over me like the sobbing, screaming mourns of a funeral.
It never leaves.

Its like I must stay, live-even, without emotion just to stay afloat. I'm not naive and I'm not an idealist. I feel this madness...everywhere and I just have to cross my fingers that I'll be alright.
That is where I falter.
It's only hope.
It's not a guarantee of sanity.
This is my call for help.
This is my reminder.
This is my goodbye.